Compulsive Behaviors
Do you find yourself turning to food, sex, alcohol, shopping, or gambling just for an escape to feel better? Well, you’re not alone. We have been conditioned in our society to look for something outside of ourselves to change our emotional state since the day we were born. Our parents tell us things like this:
“When you stop crying you can have popsicle” or “I’m sorry I yelled at you, let me make it better by buying you something” and “hey, your fifteen come sit with the guys and have your first beer with us.” These experiences teach us that what we are feeling isn’t tolerable and isn’t accepted so we have to hide our true feelings and look for something else to change our state of mind. To make matters more difficult, advertising companies capitalize on this! Buy this car, try this food, drink this beer, lose weight, and have the man/woman of your dreams, take this drug …… the list goes on. They know that our brain is made to seek pleasure and avoid pain, so they use their products to try and change our emotional state, which works, temporarily anyway.
When we start to feel an emotion that is uncomfortable like sadness, emptiness, fear, anger, loneliness or pain we tend to want to hide it and we want it to go away as quickly as possible. The minute we take that drink or eat that chocolate we achieve instant gratification and the mind begins to correlate that feeling with whatever gave it to you. Then the next time we feel this emotion the body sends a signal to the mind and the cycle starts all over again. It becomes a habit that is hardwired in the mind/body connection. The only problem is you need more and more of the substance or behavior over time to achieve the same positive effect and this is the start of an addiction. Combine all of this with any unmet needs from childhood and it is nearly impossible to break the cycle on your own.
The good news is there is hope!
Working at a trauma and addiction program I learned many different methods to tackle addictive behaviors using many different methods to help clients manage the urges and cravings that continue to repeat in their lives. In private practice, I have found the most success using The Feeling-State Addiction Protocol which uses a modified version of Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) to unbind the positive feeling the substance or behavior gives you, so you no longer are compelled to use it when the old/familiar emotions are triggered. Essentially, after the therapy is complete, you gain the control you’ve been trying to achieve but couldn’t get there on your own.
**Please note that Moonan Counseling Services is not an OASIS clinic and does not provide
substance use evaluations for any court of law**